Saturday, January 31, 2009

My life IN a nutshell, or is that AS a nutshell?

An old friend brought to my attention that she knows who I am, because we went to school together, but we've been out of touch the last 10 or so years, so she doesn't know what is going on in my life.

I forgot, this isn't just my family and close friends who read this. There are others out there that don't know me that are reading this blog, and don't know what I've gone thru the past few years, and what I'm still dealing with today.

WARNING: This post is long, and it may be a little long winded... I'm hoping i got the gist of what's going on help those of you that may be confused.

I have a very boring life. I'm sorry, but I do. I don't work, i don't go to school, i sit around on my computer all day long playing on the internet.

I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called Scleroderma August 16, 2001. Scleroderma means "Hard Skin". My body produces too much collagen. Collagen is that lovely stuff that is in your skin that makes you pretty and not have wrinkles. Well when the collagen is in your skin, and your body overproduces it, and has no where else to go, it will eventually go to other parts of your body. It will go into your muscles, tissue, and then finally your internal organs.

When I was initially diagnosed I had progressed pretty fast. I had lost about 60-80 lbs in the matter of months. My hands were doing funny things. When I got cold they would turn white, and then blue, and take forever to heat up. I felt like an 80 year old woman, and was tired all the time. I walked into the doctor in May and they didn't have a clue on what was going wrong. They did a whole lot of blood work and finally came back to me with. "we don't know what's wrong, but your blood work showed a high ANA, so we set you up with a Rheumatologist, however the first available appointment is August."

I went about my life and finally when August came i went to see the new doctor. He took one look at me and told me what was wrong with me. In all of like the first 2 minutes I was there. He told me that I had Scleroderma. I was amazed. He told me that he didn't know much about the disease, but to go home and research it on the internet. He also told me that there was no treatment and no cure.

For a while there I was just in limbo... I had my good days and my bad, and it continued this way for about a year, then i went into a type of remission. I stayed in remission for almost 5 years.

In about January of 2007 I started having problems again. I was having a hard time breathing, I was getting finger ulcers (sores on my fingers that don't heal and hurt soooo bad) and i was having weird problems with my stomach.

I hadn't seen a Rheumatologist in just over a year. I had moved to Albuquerque in May of 2005. I saw doctor down there when i established myself, but then moved back home to Utah in June of 2006. When I came home I was feeling good. But then winter came, and left, and I wasn't doing so good anymore.

I went to my PCP (personal care physician) and we started running tests on my stomach and blood work and he kept telling me i really needed to see my Rheumatologist, and then when the ulcers started appearing he really wanted me to see my Rheumatologist again. I called the one that I had been seeing before I left Utah, but there was a wait of about 4 months to get into see Him. Dr. Weeks wanted me to see someone sooner. His office made me an appointment to see a new doctor over at McKay Dee. They fit me in within the next week, and I'm happy he did.

I had my first appointment with Dr. Dames in June. She set me up with a Pulmonologist that she works with and I started seeing him in August. After CT scans and a bronchial scope I was diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis, related to the scleroderma on August 15, 2007.

Dr. Dames had all these ideas for me. We went thru testing to try to get into the SCOT trial, which was a stem cell transplant, or strong dosages of chemotherapy. We did all of that in September and in October I came down to Arizona to go to the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale to do more testing to see if I could become part of the trial. During all of this we found out that in the 2 months since I was diagnosed with PF, my lungs had actually gotten worse, and I was no longer eligible for the trial.

I got home to Utah, from Arizona on the 30th or 31st of October. I woke up the morning we left Arizona with a cold. We had stayed with my brother and his family while we were here and the kids had a little bit of congestion while we were there, so I wasn't worried about it. It would last a few days and I'd be good as new. On November 4th I went into the ER not being able to breathe. They took my pulse ox levels and they were really low. I was put on Oxygen there. I was admitted into the hospital for a few days for Viral Pneumonia.

When I left the hospital I left with a tank of Oxygen and a script to be on oxygen 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I wasn't happy about this. Neither were my doctors.

After not being accepted into the trial Dr. Dames and Dr. Ivester decided we needed to do something else, and I had one of 2 choices. We could do high dosages of Cytoxan (a chemotherapy drug that is in experimental stages for treatment of Auto Immune Diseases) or I could go the route of Cell-Cept (an immuno-suppresant used on patients after kidney transplants).

After discussing it we decided to go the way of Cytoxan for 6 months, then re-evaluate. If it was working we would go another 6 months. If it wasn't we'd start on Cell-Cept.

January of 2008 I started Chemo. It wasn't fun. I just had to go once a month, but that was enough. I would start the day before the treatment with drinking water, lots and lots of water, then I would go to the hospital for my treatment the next morning, and spend 6 hours in a chair with an IV. They would first take blood for tests that needed to be run, checking liver functions, and kidney functions, as well as a white blood count along with other stuff. Then I would have a bag of saline for 15 min, then they would run a drug to protect my kidneys and bladder from the cytoxan for an hour. after that hour I would get the cytoxan for 3 hours, then again with the drug the protection drug (i can't think of the name right now) and then 15 min of saline again. 7 to 10 days later I would go back to the hospital to have my white blood count ran.

I did this in January, then again in February. My white blood count didn't go down with the last dosage, so they upped it. Went thru the 6 hour cycle, 7 to 10 days later with the CBC, and then return again in March.

March my count didn't go down again, so the dosage was upped again. Went back in April, count went down, but not as low as they want. Dosage was upped again. May my count didnt' go down, but I had basically topped out on what they wanted to give me dosage wise, so I stayed the same as April. June my count went up... yes, you heard me right. My count went UP! It isn't supposed to do that when your on a drug that is trying to kill your immune system. End of June we did the tests all over again and such... did my PFT's (pulmonary function tests) had a echo done on my heart (which i have to have done every 6 months to make sure I don't develop Pulmonary Hypertension), blood tests... The works...

I got worse on 6 months of chemo. My lungs got worse, I felt like crap, I felt sick, I was constantly green, and i just didn't want to do anything. Oh, and I had gained 20 lbs. How you do that when your not eating I don't know. however... after June's treatment, my white cell count finally dropped. Yeah... funny thing.

July I started Cell-Cept. I don't remember what the dosage was when I started. I know that within 6 weeks I was on the current dosage I am on.

2 months I got all the tests re-done just. Everything was about a month or 2 earlier than it should have been, but Dr. Dames wanted a new base line before I moved, so that my new Doctors would know where I was.

My Pulmonary Levels on my heart went down (i was borderline pulmonary hypertension)

My Pulmonary Function Tests went up... Meaning my lungs got better.

I have wrinkles on my hand. Because of the problems with my hands, and this disease and with my skin being thicker, and especially noticeable on my hands I haven't had wrinkles on my hands... you know when you bend your wrist to give a high 5 or when you lay your hands flat on something and your fingers have wrinkles... I didn't have those. I do now.

Since we've moved to Arizona I haven't had to use my Oxygen. I can breathe down here. The machine is still in my closet in case I ever need to use it, but I don't HAVE to use it.

I continue to take 4 little pills a day, okay not so little, and they are basically saving my life. I am hoping to one day go back into remission again and not have to deal with all these health issues anymore. But at least I'm doing okay right now. I still have to be careful because I am on an immuno-suppresant and my immune system isn't as strong as it once was. I catch colds much easier, and they last longer, and there is a chance that I could catch something and get very sick. But that's not something that I really worry about these days.

So... There's my story. If you have any questions feel free to ask me. I'll answer them to the best of my ability. But that's my life in a nutshell.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Am I Addicted?

I really didn't think I watched that much reality TV... Until today when we (me and mom) watched 3 different reality TV shows.

We watched off the DVR: 3 episodes of American Idol, 1 episode of Hell's Kitchen, and then 1 episode of Top Chef.

Then I got thinking about it. This week we had already watched Biggest Loser. So that's 4 Reality Shows I watched this week, that I can think of.

I can also think of 2 other show's I watch... America's Next Top Model, and Project Runway... so yeah... I think i'm becoming addicted to reality tv. I think I watch too much reality tv. I think maybe I should just cut out the reality tv...

or maybe my life is just reality tv? sometimes i wish it was that entertaining.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

New toy...

Yes i know... just what she needs, a new toy.

But it was cute...

and it wasn't expensive...

she really does love her toys. When dad came home today she went running to the door like always, but today, she had to take her new toy with her. Show it off.

Spoilt brat... but she's my spoilt brat...

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I *heart* Barnes & Noble

4th wednesday of the month...


Yeah... I only get a check once a month at the end of the month. This month was a really great check cause I would be getting a full check (not living out of my overdraft this month) and I got my yearly raise. This year it was $70.00 per month. Now for me, living on a very small social security check that's a lot of money coming in.

I Needed to go out to Wal-Mart to get my monthly drugs (that cost me an arm and a leg) but I also wanted to go out to Trader Joes to get some stuff for a care package for a friend, take mom out to lunch cause it has been a LONG time since we've been able to just go out and do that, and then go to Barnes & Noble.

This month I needed to pick up a birthday present for kinsey. She'll be 5 next month. I like getting the kids books, cause they LOVE them. I also wanted to get something for sis when she has tubes put in her ears, which at this point is going to happen.

I found the clearance tables. Every book there with a red sticker was only $2.00

I thought I'd look at them to see if there was anything interesting. I ended up finding a book that has been on my reading list for a while, a book that looked interesting that maybe dad would like to read, and I know i would like to try it out. A book on Irish Folk Tales by Yeats that i've been interested in for quite some time, and 2 gifts. Mom found a christmas book for the kids and a book on the art in The D'orsay Museum in Paris.

$138.00 regular retail price... $14.00 plus tax is what I paid.

I'm so happy about my purchases. I LOVE being able to buy book at such a bargain.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

things are looking up

Yesterday I went to my doctor for my now "normal" two month check in. I really love that normal is every 2 months instead of every 2 weeks, or even once a month. LOL. It's GREAT to be on a medication that has stabilised me.

I got refills on all my scripts that needed to be refilled, i got a cortisone shot in my buttox for the arthritis in my left wrist?,  and he also gave me a script for the arthritis so that i should be on the mend there. We set up the next appointment for March and away i went. *happy sigh*

I was thinking during our walk today (that would be me and lils) that just last year I was going thru chemo, I was sick and couldn't move, and just felt plain yucky. How I gained 20 lbs I'll never know.

I was also thinking that just last November i was still on my oxygen and i could barely walk up the stairs in the house in Ogden without feeling like I was going to die.

I was thinking that I had just finished walking nearly a mile (approx 0.97 miles) and I was feeling okay. Not the best, cause yeah. I was tired from the walk... But I didn't feel like I wanted to die. Lils may have. But not me.  

I think that things are finally starting to look up health wise. Sure, i still have my bad days. Sure, I still hurt and am tired more than I would like to be. Sure, I'm getting more headhaches (cause i need new glasses). Sure, my morning walk nearly kicks me on my bottom for a few hours after i'm done every morning. 

But i'm feeling better. I don't feel like I want to spend every day curled up in my bed. 

Things are looking up...

Monday, January 26, 2009

song of the week

This is a song that is on a soundtrack that I listen to constantly... I really like it and thought you would enjoy it also.

Thought that mom would like it...


You Are My Joy
by: Reindeer Section

I won't leave you out of my will
But I will leave you out of my mind - for now

I won't be there to break your sweet heart
But not being there might break your sweet heart

You are my joy - you are my joy
You are my joy - you are my joy
You are my joy - you are my joy
You are my joy - you are my joy

If I could cradle you into my arms
I would cradle you tight in my arms - always

So don't be scared of all the hurtful words
Cause in the end they'll hurt themselves much more

You are my joy - you are my joy
You are my joy - you are my joy
You are my joy - you are my joy
You are my joy - you are my joy

You are my joy - you are my joy
You are my joy - you are my joy
You are my joy - you are my joy
You are my joy - you are my joy

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Flowers in January

I thought that I would share some pictures of our (mine and lils) walk today.

Flowers in January.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Kids and Dogs...

So the kids and their parents came over today. 

Sis was sitting on my lap, the boy was next to me and kinsey was basically on top of him . We were all watching  sis play on spiro on her gameboy. Well...a you can see lils didn't like that all too much. 

You see. my little girl there is pretty spoiled. She's a total brat. She also gets VERY jealous of anyone who pays attention to anyone but her. Especially if I'm any part of that someone not paying attention to her. As you can see. She wanted some attention, and she wanted it from me. And then from the kids... from anyone that would give it to her.

We finally got her settled and in a spot where we were all comfortable and could have some time watching and helping with the game together. 

That is until Sis wanted to kick my butt playing Uno... Yeah... that is always a mistake. Why is it that a 6 year old can beat me at Uno?

Friday, January 23, 2009

A Little Quiet...

So... I know that i have been updating this blog daily, cause hello... doing my part for NaBloWriMo. But i've been quiet everywhere else.

My poor Harvey is a little ill right now. For some reason my keyboard isn't working properly, and I don't have the money to fix it right now. Nor do i have an extra USB keyboard just laying around to be used.

I can't use the letters Q, W, A, S, Z or the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm also missing my ctr. key and my option key on the left side... OH... and the all my function key's don't work, so it makes for hard time of turning up sound and the brightness of my monitor. AND to top it all off... The Delete key doesn't work.

Now, do you really know how often you use any of those letters in a sentence. Let alone the letter's A, S, and W. Makes for some interesting and very slow cut and paste conversations. Yes you heard me right. I've been cutting and pasting in my IM conversations with my friends. *sigh* I'm pathetic.

So... I just wanted you all to know that I've seen LOTS of posts that I would love to comment on, but yeah. It's a little annoying that I can't do that very well. I'm hoping that next week I'll at least have the extra money to buy a keyboard that will just plug in and be used until i can get Harvey into the shop.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Princess Bride

So, I read a lot... 

Not only do I read, but I "read" books on tape... Well, audiofiles on my iPod.

It's Mom's fault. She's the one that got me addicted to them. Her and my Aunt Barbara are the ones that are actually addicted. They probably read like 10 books a week.

I made it a goal to basically read one book a week for the entire year. Well, longer than that, but that's another story. So far I have read 10 books since the 21st of December. So, I am right on track. I also just added my shelfari to this blog so that you can see what i'm reading.

Last night i found The Princess Bride: S. Morgenstern's Classic Tale of True Love and High Adventure by William Goldman and downloaded it. I was so excited.

I started listening to it last night. I finished it early this afternoon.

I LOVE this book. 

The Princess Bride is a true fantasy classic. William Goldman describes it as a "good parts version" of "S. Morgenstern's Classic Tale of True Love and High Adventure." Morgenstern's original was filled with details of Florinese history, court etiquette, and Mrs. Morgenstern's mostly complimentary views of the text. Much admired by academics, the "Classic Tale" nonetheless obscured what Mr. Goldman feels is a story that has everything: "Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest ladies. Snakes. Spiders. Beasts of all natures and descriptions. Pain. Death. Brave men. Coward men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truths. Passion. Miracles."

Goldman frames the fairy tale with an "autobiographical" story: his father, who came from Florin, abridged the book as he read it to his son. Now, Goldman is publishing an abridged version, interspersed with comments on the parts he cut out.

Is The Princess Bride a critique of classics like Ivanhoe and The Three Musketeers, that smother a ripping yarn under elaborate prose? A wry look at the differences between fairy tales and real life? Simply a funny, frenetic adventure? No matter how you read it, you'll put it on your "keeper" shelf.

A must read for EVERYONE!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Biggest Loser Rant

I think that Wednesday's blogs just might become my ranting spot for this show. 

I was really upset about the outcome of last nights show. It's really frustrating when you KNOW that it should go one way, and it goes another.

From the very beginning of this series I have been in LOVE with Jillan, so I naturally always went for her team, be it the former red team, or the black team. Whoever she trained was who i was rooting for. 

Don't get me wrong. Bob is great! He's wonderful. I LOVE watching Bob, I especially loved Zen Bob yelling at Joelle last week. But out of the two, and if i were on that ranch, I would want Jillian to be my trainer. I want her to kick my booty and make me cry. 

Last night I just wanted to kick her team to the curb. It was really frustrating. They were all nice and said we'll do what you want us to do, cause you  helped us out last week, but no...  It makes it really wrong is I don't like that woman. She needs to just go home. 

But again... that's only my opinion. And my opinion doesn't count for much these days... but i do like giving it when i get a chance.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Happy Inauguration Day!

I know that everyone is going to be posting today, or have posted today about it being Inauguration day. But I wanted to get my 2 cents in.

It's not much, but it's enough. 

I woke up a little earlier than normal this morning. The dog just didn't want to stay in bed like I normally do. LOL. Good thing she did cause i would have forgotten all about the Inauguration. I turned it on just in time to see it happen and listen to the President's address.

The address was short, and very well done. There were a lot of different points I liked, but I think my favorite was: 

"...The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness."


I like knowing that someone else out there finally sees that we all deserve a chance. Not just because your a straight white man...

And like I said. That's just my opinion.

Hope you all had a good day!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Song of the Week

I've decided to dive into the world of songs that have my name in it.


Yup. Thats me. I grew up with people singing Starship's Sarah. You know,

Sarah, Sarah
Storms are brewing in your eyes,
Sarah, Sarah
no time is a good time for goodbyes

I may have to do that one at another time. I always wished they would sing a different song to me. Like Fleetwood Mac's Sara, or well, anything else. But sadly no. They stuck to Sarah by Starship. Today I'm going to post my favorite Sarah song.

Sara Smiles by Hall & Oates

I have a group of friends on the interwebs that calls me Sarah Smiles. I guess it came about cause I always sign my name with a =0) after it. Well I used to. And there was another Sarah that was part of the mailing list.

Without further ado, here we go...

Daryl Hall and John Oates (1974)

Baby hair with a womans eyes
I can feel you watching in the night
All alone with me and were waiting for the sunlight
When I feel cold you warm me
When I feel I cant go on you come and hold me
Its you... and me forever

Sara smile
Wont you smile a while for me

If you feel like leaving you know you can go
But why dont you stay until tomorrow?
And if you want to be free, all you have to do is say so
When you feel cold, Ill warm you
And when you feel you cant go on, Ill come and hold you
Its you... and me forever

Sara smile
Wont you smile a while for me

Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Season Starts...

What season you ask? Cycling season.

Today was the first race for the Tour Down Under. Okay... so the race/season doesn't really just start until Tuesday's race... But the prologue (at least i think it was the prologue) was today.

Dad and I watch Cycling together. We watch just about every race there is starting with the Spring Classics and right on thru to the Tour of Italy, France, and then Spain. Yes there are even a few more races after Spain... but I can never remember what they are.

A few years ago Dad decided that he wanted to start riding. When he started he said that he wouldn't be compete. It was just going to be for fun. That was a laugh. LOL. My dad doesn't do something like this just for fun. Well it may start that way. But eventually he'll start competing.

He doesn't do much road riding these days. He's really enjoying his Mountain bike. With the entrance to the White Tank Mountains just a few miles down the road it makes it easy for him to just go out on his bike after work.

So today started our yearly bonding talking about the different teams, who moves over to what team, all the new teams that are racing. The talking about thing that mom usually ignores and says yes dear. LOL

This is the first year that The Tour Down Under is on TV. It's all thanks to Lance Armstrong. He may not be my favorite cyclist, but he has done a lot for cycling in America. and that makes is good for us cause the more races he is in, the more we get to watch on TV.


Oh... one more thing. I'm not a big fan of football. I'm a baseball girl, but GO CARDS!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Goodbye Friend...


I'm a HUGE fan of the Stargate Universe.

I had seen the movie years ago and enjoyed it and had watched episodes of SG-1 on late night television here and there when it first went into syndication, and liked them. But it wasn't until late 2004 that I actually became a fan.

I love science fiction, and had just started Netflix, so I wanted to watch some television series I had never seen before. I decided to get Stargate: SG-1 from the beginning. By this time the series was running on the Sci-Fi channel and was in its 8th season, and season 1 of Stargate Atlantis had already begun. Dad and I watched the beginning of SG-1 together, and then I moved to Albuquerque. Canada and i continued watching the series together. We made it to the end of season 7 just before season 9 started. We ended up spending a day watching an SG-1 marathon to catch up on the series.

While watching season 8 we were introduced to season 1 of Atlantis. At first i wasn't so keen on watching this series. I was in total love with the characters on SG-1, Especially General Jack O'Neill.

By the time season 8 was over Jack was gone and I was hooked with SGA (or Stargate: Atlantis).

My family thinks that I am totally obsessed, and I probably am. But I really enjoy this show. It makes me laugh, and cry, and nearly every episode I'm on the edge of my seat, or biting my nails. By the end of it I can't wait for the next week's episode to get here. Friday nights became a great night for me, especially while SG-1 was still running, I had 2 great shows to watch.

This season was the final season of Stargate: Atlantis. Tonight while watching the final episode of Atlantis (which actually aired on the 9th, i think) i was biting my nails. Seriously... My nerves were a wreck and i was near tears the entire time knowing that this was the final episode of my favorite team. I seriously don't think I was this bad watching the final episode of The West Wing, and that is one of my all time favorite shows. It also wasn't so hard watching the final episode of SG-1 cause, O'Neill had left years ago, and I KNEW the release dates for the 2 movies that were being released. Atlantis, I know there is a movie, but when?

Now I'm not going to say anything about the episode in case there are others out there that haven't seen it yet. I don't want to spoil those who are fans. That is just a big no no. But I will say that it was a wonderful episode. Everything that an SGA episode is supposed to be. Laughing, edge of my seat, nail biting, crying, even a little romance thrown in. Very well done.

So i say goodbye now to my Friday night friend. We had some good times, and some not so good times. I can't wait to see you again. And maybe the new series, Stargate: Universe, will be just as good.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Lost Toy Found

The lost toy that Lils had decided she was missing the other day has been found.

Yes, it's a rat. One of her favorite toys is a rat that I purchased from Ikea. Dad calls her "rat dog" so i thought it was a cute toy for her. Never knew it would become one of her favorites.

The rat was the only toy that got moved with us. That is, not packed into a box. So for the longest time, at least in dog time, it was the only thing she had to play with. And play she did. When we drove down here it got put into a container and then stuff piled on top of it, and left in the garage for the last 2 months...

Why she decided all of a sudden that it was missing and she wanted it we don't know. I pulled out the box of her toys that is hidden in the closet, and dumped it onto the middle of the floor. She got excited and searched thru the pile of toys and you could tell that she wasn't finding what she wanted. She ended up taking a small bear out of the pile and the rest went back into the box and put back into the closet.

Mom then asked about the rat. I went into the garage, found it, and brought it in the house. Lils got soooo excited when she saw it. Too bad it was so close to bed time, or she probably would have played with it all night.

Yeah... she's kinda cute.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Addicted to blogging?

71%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Online Dating

*shakes head*

I think it's the fact that I have like 5 different blogs.



Wednesday, January 14, 2009

i know...

I know, I know...

I've changed things again...

I blame my sister...

A Crazy Dog???

Last night lils started digging in her toys to find something she was missing, and didn't seem to be able to find it.

I got her to go to bed, after some prodding, but this morning she was back to digging around in her toys again.

Now this dog, she has a TON of toys. It all started when she was a puppy and started carrying around one of my stuffed animals, that was twice as big as she was. She then ended up stealing most of my animals and making them her own. Since then we have gotten rid of quite a few toys. And she's even got a box full of them in storage.

I think that maybe she's looking for something that is in storage, that she has just realizes is missing now. Hm... or maybe mom's idea that she doesn't want the blankets that are sitting on top of her toys.

Or, maybe she's just gone crazy.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Biggest Loser

I LOVE this show...

But this week was heartbreaking. I don't think that there has ever been a harder decision on who goes home. It has only been a 2 weeks and I'm already attached to these people.

Jenny's family has started a "biggest loser" challenge in their family and Dad and I have decided to join. I need to get to a healthier me. I'm also hoping that maybe i can get off a few of the meds i have to take and this disease will get a little better. Even tho it has nothing to do with diet and health.

I'd just like to be able to walk around the book store and not get winded or tired. This is a lofty goal for me. But it's something that I would like to try.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Song of the Week

This week I decided to go with something a little more classical for the song of the week. One thing about me is that I've got a very eclectic collection of music. I like just about anything and everything, and i'm willing to try it at least once.

This week's song is an aria from the unfinished opera Turandot by Puccini, Nessun Dorma!

I don't remember the first time i heard this. I just remember crying. It was so beautiful. The string instruments playing and the sound of the male voice singing this song to his princess. At the time I didn't know that was what he was singing about. It was just pretty.

I play this song all the time, along with other arias on a cd i have called 40 Most Beautiful Arias. The last time I played this cd Ian was over and came into my room and asked me what that noise was. I told him that it was Opera, music. He told me it was annoying and to turn it off. He's 8. I'll get him with it one of these days. He will love Opera and not just Metallica.

Just a little infomation about the song:
History of "Nessun Dorma" and the opera, Turandot: Puccini began working on the opera Turandot in 1920. The next year, he started composing the music. Two years later, in 1924, Puccini had all but finished the opera's final duet. Puccini disliked the text of the duet and postponed composing it until he was able to correct the text. When he finally chose the words for it, two days later he was was diagnosed with throat cancer. Having decided to travel to Belgium for treatment and surgery the last week of November 1924, Puccini died as a result of the surgery on November 29. Therefore, the opera itself was never finished by Puccini.

Nessun Dorma!
Giacomo Puccini (1920-1924)

Italian Text
Nessun dorma! Nessun dorma!
Tu pure, o, Principessa,
nella tua fredda stanza,
guardi le stelle
che tremano d'amore
e di speranza.
Ma il mio mistero è chiuso in me,
il nome mio nessun saprà!
No, no, sulla tua bocca lo dirò
quando la luce splenderà!
Ed il mio bacio scioglierà il silenzio
che ti fa mia!
(Il nome suo nessun saprà!...
e noi dovrem, ahime, morir!)
Dilegua, o notte!
Tramontate, stelle!
Tramontate, stelle!
All'alba vincerò!
vincerò, vincerò!

English Translation of "Nessun Dorma"
Nobody shall sleep!...
Nobody shall sleep!
Even you, o Princess,
in your cold room,
watch the stars,
that tremble with love and with hope.
But my secret is hidden within me,
my name no one shall know...
On your mouth I will tell it when the light shines.
And my kiss will dissolve the silence that makes you mine!...
(No one will know his name and we must, alas, die.)
Vanish, o night!
Set, stars! Set, stars!
At dawn, I will win! I will win! I will win!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Jack is Back

Tonight is the season premier of "24"!

Some of you are probably moaning and groaning and saying that you can't believe that i actually like that show. Dad even told me today that at least he had taste (yet he's the one that watched a movie called Transmorphers. No... I'm serious. It's was like a way bad B movie that got 1.7 stars, out of 10, on IMDB. I'd say that was bad).

Hey.. I LOVE Jack. and I LOVE the show. Believe it or not I wasn't a fan of Kiefer Sutherland before this. But I am a fan now.

Plus. I need something to make me happy now that my favorite show is off the air for good. *sad sigh*

I'm addicted to television and movies, and I don't deal very well with change. At least when it comes to my TV. So far this season (that i can think of off the top of my head) one of my shows has ended for good. One of my favorite characters has died. One of my favorite characters is leaving the show. Another one that i've loved for 15 years now is going at the end of the season.

Hm... maybe it's time i stopped watching TV all together.


Yeah... Like that will ever happen.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

le sigh...

Okay. That was just too much work and too much heartache and yeah. too much.


I'm back. I have a layout that i like. I have all my little gadgets and widgets and whatchamacallits back.

I'm hoping that this is going to stay this way for a while. I know a few people who just might kill me if I mess with it anymore.

I didn't know that messing with things would cause so much trouble. Oh well. It's done and over with and i'm back online.


(don't they usually have balloon's at grand openings and such?)

Friday, January 9, 2009

Under Construction

so I did something that did something that really messed everything up. I have no idea what I'm doing so right now i very much feel like Homer Simpson trying to fix things. So yeah. I'm under construction and hopfully will be back to normal tomorrow. Or as much normal as my brain can be.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Boxes and boxes and boxes.

Recently I purchased some plastic CD boxes from amazon. I needed something to put all the disks I have laying around cause the container i had them in was just not big enough anymore.

They were delivered today
I had to put them together myself, but that was easy to do. They aren't made of a very strong plastic, but for $12.99 i'm not expecting that. I just wanted something that would hold the cd's in the sleeves that I have, and whatever other garbage i seem to find. LOL.

I'm happy about them. A nice new addition to my very small room.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

My monster and me...

we've had a pretty lazy day, just like every day. I think i've got a cold coming on so i'm just feeling kinda blah.

Lils and I've just been on the couch taking it easy, like always. One of these days maybe i'll feel normal again. At least i don't have to rely on the oxygen to get around anymore. One of these days I'll actually be motivated to do something.

eh... lets leave that for tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Turning into my mother?

Why do i think I'm turning into my mother? It's not really a bad thing, but let me tell you why.

Today I spent the day in my room on playing on harvey, the name of my computer. Okay so that isn't anything new. I recently deleted everything off harvey jr., the name of my iPod, and re-installed the software. So I was playing with my iPod, again that isn't new.

While I was doing all of this I finished one book, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Then started and finished another, Doctor Who: The Feast of the Drowned. Then started and finished yet another, Anything Goes: John Barrowman's Autobiography. And then... I started a new book, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Now do you see the similarity? I'm listening to book after book on harvey jr. I've added 11.17 gb to my 30 gb iPod... and only 2 gb of that is actual music. *sigh*

So, as you can see. This isn't a bad thing. But yeah. I think i'm turning into my mother, or my aunt barbara...

either way. they are both great women. maybe listening to books is better...

Monday, January 5, 2009

Song of the Week

This week's song is my very favorite song by one of my very favorite bands, Matchbox Twenty.

Now your asking yourself, why is a song about a guy telling a girl that even if she was the Last Beautiful Girl in the world he would not love her, her favorite song.

I think it's the fact that right there at the end of the song, he's basically telling her that she is the Last Beautiful Girl, and even after everything they have been thru and the love and the heartache he can't love her because of what she did. But... she is a beautiful girl.

The fact that it's Rob singing doesn't make it half bad either. *grins*

Last Beautiful Girl
Matchbox Twenty (2000)

This will all fall down like everything else that was
This too shall pass and all of the words we said
We can't take back

Now every fool in town wouldve left by now
I can't replace all the wasted days
The memory of your face - can't help thinkin

Maybe if we ever coulda kept it all together
Where would we be
A thousand lost forevers
And the promises you never were giving me
Heres what Im thinking

It wont be the first - heart that you break
It wont be the last - beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked - wont take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world

Tell me one more time
How you're sorry about the way
This all went down - you needed to find your space

You needed to still be friends
Needed me to
Call you if I ever couldnt keep it all together you'd comfort me
Tell me but forever
And the promises I never should have believed in
Heres what Im thinking

It wont be the first - heart that you break
It wont be the last - beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked - wont take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world

Its over now - and Ive gone without
Cuz you're everybody elses girl
It seems to me - you'll always be
Everyone elses girl
Everyone elses girl

This will all fall down
Like everything in the world
This too must end
And all the words we said
We can't take back

It wont be the first - heart that you break
It wont be the last - beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked - wont take you back
If you were the last...

It wont be the first - heart that you break
It wont be the last - beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked - wont take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world

The last beautiful girl in the world
You are the last beautiful girl in the world
Beautiful girl

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Getting to Know You...

I thought that since there are new people visiting here every day, *waves at new people*, I would introduce you all to a few people I talk about often in my blog.

First I'm going to introduce you to my parents. Yup. That is Fred and Linda, Dad and Mom, Grammee and Grumpy. This picture was taken on a cruise they took for their 30th wedding anniversary.

We next come to my sister Emalee and her husband Kyle. They have been married for almost 9 years (their anniversary is in 3 days). They have one son who was born when emmy was only 22 1/2 weeks pregnant. His name is Kenner Jackson. He only lived for 2 hours, and will always be in our hearts.

After them we come to my brother Jeremy his wife Jenny, and their 3 children. Jeremy and Jenny have been married for just over 9 years now. Ian, or the boy, is their oldest at 8. He is in the 2nd grade. Next is Alene, or sister suzie, who is 6 and in the 1st grade. Last is Ashley, or kinsey, and she is 4 going on 25. She will be 5 in a little over a month and entering kindergarten in August.

The last member of our family that I talk about often is Lillee. My little monster, Dad's Rat Dog, and many other names Mom seems to call her. She is 4 years old and thinks she rules the house. She's spoilt rotten and I love her very much. If you ask anyone tho she's really Alene's dog, we're just taking care of her.

So, there you have it. My family. I hope you now know everyone a little better so that when I mention someone in my blog you aren't a little lost. Or a lot lost.

Saturday, January 3, 2009


It's been a while since i've been able to buy anything, let alone books, and I may have gone a little overboard. But I'm so excited to be able to buy books, even tho i really should be putting my money into savings.

Anyway. I just wanted to show off the books i purchased for myself for christmas. Four out of the six books purchase can be read by my nephew, and eventually my nieces, right now.

I know, I know... some of you are asking yourselves, why does she need more books. Well, all my books right now are in storage, in the garage, and there is just something about books that make me happy.

Friday, January 2, 2009

5 Things...

Tagged by Emalee~

5 things I like

1- Watching movie after movie with Dad.
2- Friends in far away lands that give me gifts.
3- Diet Coke
4- a little dog that drives me totally insane at times
5- 3 kids that are fun to play with.

I tag whoever wants to do it.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Uno, Dos, Tres...

For some reason the kids like to play Uno with me.

I think it's because I'm not any good at the game and they always win.

Alene and I have been playing for 2 days now. A total of 28 games. I've only won 11. yeah. That bad.

At least we have fun!