Doctors Appointment...

Had a doctors appointment yesterday with my pulmonologist. I also had some breathing tests done. My appointment for the breathing tests were at 12.00 and my appointment with Dr. Ivester at 1.00.

A new guy did my breathing tests. I like my regular Kurt, but this new guy was nice. He kept commenting that I was to young to be having these issues and such. My tests were good. Everything stayed the same except my diffusion rate. It seems to have gone down some more. It could just be cause i feel a little congestion, or it could be that my lungs aren't doing as great as we thought they were...

I had some lunch in the cafeteria and then went to my appointment with Dr. Ivester. I LOVE the hospital cafe. Its got some way yummy food, and a GREAT salad bar. which i took part in. Then i spoke with Ivester. He's not too happy with my diffuse rate going down. He's going to chat with Dr. Dames about it and it looks like i may only be doing 2 more chemo treatments, and then evaluate to see if it is working. I am doing more PFT's in 2 months along with an echo. If my diffuse rate goes down more than he wants to start a different treatment right away. So we shall see. I did a 6 minute walk and he was really happy about that. He said that it's the best walk i've done so far. So that's really good. I feel stronger, and my lungs do feel like they are getting better, but the numbers just aren't there.

As i was getting the appointments set up he was on the phone with Dr. Dames. I LOVE that my two doctors talk to each other about what treatments they want to do and such. At least that's a good thing.


Hope all is going well with you!

Harvey, 4th treatment, dogs, and houses.

Harvey is home! WOOHOOO!!! for those who don't know what i'm talking about, i'm talking about my computer. Yes, my laptop has a name. a good friend called me a geek. i guess i am. *grins* I took it in last Thursday cause the casing was cracking. and after not even 6 months it was sick. So yeah.. it was still under warranty. so yeah. Harvey is home and fixed.

My 4th treatment was yesterday. Everything went well. My white blood count is where they want it to be i guess cause they didn't increase the dosage. Because Harvey was at the doctor in Salt Lake i had to go to thru treatment yesterday without it. Boy that was hard. But i had my iPod with 3 different television shows i hadn't seen yet on it, and books to read. I also took a great nap.

Dr. Dames wasn't there, so i got to see one of her colleagues, Dr. Solich. She was nice and seemed really interested in my treatment. I've been running a low grade fever for a few months now, but haven't been sick. So, we are going to run some extra blood tests when i do my cbc's on Tuesday. Also going to do some tests on my poop to see if there is any blood in it. kinda yuck, but yeah. you do what you got to do.

I think she really is going mad. I can't even leave the house to go with dad to home depot for half an hour. Yesterday she wouldn't even eat. She thought starving herself was a good thing? yeah... my puppy is just insane. poor girl.

The kids were over again this weekend, along with tonight. I love seeing them. I love being with them. They make me so happy. I'm going to be sad when they leave us in a few weeks. but it's time for them to go home where there daddy is. The house is almost done. I can't wait to see it. The pictures are the coolest!

Mom and dad are leaving me this weekend. They are going to Las Vegas for the weekend to visit with Aunt Barbara and Uncle Ira. This is the first time i've been left alone since they took the grandparents to Seattle last June. We shall see how this weekend goes.

Hm... i think that's all for now. Hope all is well with you all in happy land!

It's been a little while...

It's been a while since i posted, do i thought that i'd post some neat pictures of the kids...


our little baby girl turned 4 this past February. I can't believe how big she's getting. She's lost most of her "baby" fat and is starting to look like such a little girl.


A beautiful picture of Sister Suzie whlie sledding last month with their dad when he came to town. I wasn't there for the picture so i don't know if it was before or after the actual sledding, but it is just so precious. She's LOVING school and recently told me that her new best friend's name is Eric and she loves his eyes and his face. she'll be 6 in May.


The Boy catching some air while playing in our front yard this past February. Can you believe the 9 foot snow hill we had... He's now lost 6 teeth and talks with a lisp since loosing his two front teeth. He's adorable when he talks and does it sometimes just so he can make us laugh. So adorable!

Hope you enjoyed!

Treadmills and muddy paws...

First week after treatment...

I feel good. Had a bad morning yesterday, didn't want to get out of bed, so nice and warm. But waking up to snow isn't a good thing when your so looking forward to spring. It has been a long winter. maybe because we've had so much snow this year.

I did 3 days on the treadmill this past week. I am so proud of myself. i've taken the last two days off, but plan on going back on tomorrow. This is the first time i've actually felt like doing something. I've had so much energy. I recommend a mutli-vitamin to everyone. I swear it's one of the reason's i'm feeling so good.

Mom and dad bought a new couch for the family room. Very similar to the one posted, however it is black. It's being delivered tomorrow. So exciting getting new furniture. I'm hoping to go bed shopping this next month. I'm not sure if i can quite afford it yet, but i'm wanting a new bed. I've never had a bed frame of my own as a grown-up. I know which one i want at Ikea, just have to decide if i have the monies or not.

Because of the rain we have been receiving, lills has been coming in with muddy paws, and then climbing back into my bed with me. Yeah... did it again this morning. I have to change my sheets yet again because of her... *sigh* spoilt dog.

I hope all is going well with all of yous! I love your comments and am very thankful for the support of my friends and family out there!

Love you all!!!

Treatment number 3

Yesterday was my third cytoxan treatment.

I woke up a little late, but that's okay. i still had plenty of time to do my hair and put some make-up on and such. the appointment was at 10.30, the iv was started at 11.15. It was started so late cause i didn't have a chair when i got there, well not a chair that they wanted me to sit in long term, so i had to wait for someone to finish and then got to move.

The iv went well. They upped the chemo again. My white blood cells aren't dropping like they want it to. My count is still in the normal range, low side of normal, but normal.

i slept crappy the night before, so i ended up taking a long nap while there. I was basically the only one there during that time so they shut the lights off for me. Was kinda nice.

Because i seemed to tolerate the cytoxan while i'm there they can flush it thru faster. so I was out of there by 4.15. Was nice to be out so fast this month. It gets kinda boring there, even if you have all sorts of things to keep you entertained.

Got home and had a nice evening with the parents... until about 7.00 when i started feeling sick... I took my pills and went to bed early, 8.00, ended up being sick all night. It was a bad night. I'm still not feeling great today, but have a doctors appointment in an hour.

My left wrist has been bothering me. it's just a little arthritis pain that i've never had before that doesn't seem to go away with the drugs i have... so today we are doing a cortizone (sp) in my wrist. will probably hurt... but if it works in the long run I'm fine wth it.

um... i think that's all for now. not really anything else going on in my life right now. Hope all is well with you guys!

yeah.... i'm back...

God... i've been away for a long time. I have got to get out of this poor me attitude i have going on right now, and have had going on for a while, and just get back with the land of the living.



I was looking at this picture of me and thinking how happy i look. and how great this night was. and it dawned on me. I've done this to myself. I've locked myself up in this house and haven't been out and about, haven't contacted my friends, in fact have ignored most of them. and for this i am remiss.

This picture was taken this past Thursday night (so this is a new colour). I went to see Alanis and Matchbox Twenty in concert. This picture was taken during one of the songs... I think it was while Alanis was on stage. It was utter joy. I had the best time with my brother in law and sister.



It was utterly brilliant. First when Alanis started singing, before she was even on stage, i got chills. It was just the coolest thing in the world. and then when Matchbox was on stage... i haven't had that much energy in months. i hadn't felt that good in ages... yes i was dead on my feet afterwards, and was just tired yesterday, but today i felt great. I wasn't expecting to feel this good after a night like that.



Now i'm not going to go out and do this every night and over do it... This just showed me how much I am missing. How much i have just ignored the past 6 months. and for that I'm sorry. I'm sorry to my friends who's lives have changed drastically and I haven't been there for them, even when they have always been there for me. I am truly sorry.

But i'm back. I'm going to make an honest effort to become a member of society again, and make an honest effort in keeping up with my friends.

I hope that you are all well!!!

hello from chemo land...

It has been months since i've updated, and i'm coming up on my third treatment of Cytoxan.



If you can believe it, i feel like it may actually be working. I am able to take deep breaths, and it doesn't hurt anymore. I do feel that my white blood count hasn't gone down much so I think the dosage is going to go up again. But I can handle it. I think that this is actually going to be a good thing.

I've become addicted to tea. I am so in love with these teas that my friend Joe sent me from England. They are sooo good. Dad says that it's just potpourri... well it does look and smell like some yummy potpourri, but it's tea, i promise. Even dad's come to like it. *grins*

Hm... tonight is the matchbox twenty concert. I'm a little apprehensive about it all. I haven't done anything this big since i started getting sick again. I'm just hoping that everything stays okay. I'm feeling good today, and seem to have no problems.

love to all!

treatment, cytoxan, doing nothing at all...

i've decided that I'm going to use this place as somewhere for me to vent and such. I don't know. I just need a place where i can talk and ramble and no one cares what i am saying or doing or such.

i went to doctor dames today. we have decided to go the cytoxen route for treatment. this will be the once a month iv treatments for 5 hours. this is the same treatment that they are doing in the trial. so that's one good thing about it. secondly, i won't have to take more pills, that's a yeah. and it's a treatment plan. we have decided on something and we are doing it. finally.. i was so hoping to have something started by christmas, but this is good... i hope it is at least.

we are going to do the cytoxen for 6 months. then evaluate, and then either continue 6 months at that time, or start cellcept. *shrugs* i don't know anymore. I wish someone would just say. this is the best thing for you. do it.

i feel so empty lately. i guess it's the christmas season. i've got to finish the projects i have to get done for next week... but i just don't want to do anything. I just want to sleep and watch tv, and play on my computer, and just don't do anything... but i guess i can't do that. I have to be an active member of society.

just what i need right?

another blog... *shrugs* I don't know what i'll use this place for. But i felt the need to just have it. Don't know why...