hello there....

Not sure what to write about today, but I didn't want to just not post anything. Especially when I'm trying to write every day.

Woke up with a headache this morning, and I still have it. can't decide if it is sinus or what. I do hear the blood rushing thru my ears. i hate that. Mom said she hears that all the time. I don't know if I would ever get used to that sound.

I have 10 days left until I head to Oregon. I'm so excited for this trip. It's finally time for our Family Reunion, but I'm also going early to spend some time with Grandma.

okay. Time to eat my slim jim and drink my slice.

sleep...

So I've decided that if I want to wake up earlier, I have to go to bed earlier.

I usually go to my room about 10.00 and spend a few hours reading before I turn the light out around 12.00. Now with my television being over for the summer I can head to my room about 9.00, spend a few hours reading and get my meds running thru me and turning the light out at 11.00.

I did this last night. Had a little trouble falling asleep. Don't know what the time was, but I remember counting to 400. That's what I've been doing lately when my brain is still working when I turn the light out.

Now we'll see if I can actually get out of bed at a decent time now.

lightbulb...

So I realised last night, while trying to sleep and counting to 750 then giving up, why I am feeling so down on myself, and why I ache so bad, and why I'm so tired, and why I just want to cry at the drop of a hat. And this might be a little TMI for some of you, but...

I should be starting my cycle tomorrow. I'm just PMSing.

Wow... that was a revelation to me. I haven't had actual PMS symptoms that I've noticed this bad in quite a while.

Now we shall see if I actually start.

What I really need to do is get an appointment at Dr. McKernan's office to get the oblation taken care of. Maybe if I did that I'd feel better. But being the usual procrastinator that I am I keep putting it off. Now it will just have to wait until after the Family Reunion.

the beginning of another week...

The weekend is over. Here we are at the beginning of another week.

I went to bed "early" last night. Kinda drugged myself to do it, but I did go to bed earlier than I usually do. and I had set my alarm to get up "early".

It didn't work. When my alarm went off at 8.30 I pressed the snooze button. I wasn't getting out of bed. Yes, by this time I'd already slept 9 hours. but I still wasn't moving. I even made the dog go back to sleep. Didn't wake up until 10.30.

Today I just ache and I'm tired. Is there a storm coming thru?

I want to start walking on the treadmill again (already too hot at 8 am to do it outside). I even bought new tennis shoes to do so. I've had those "new" shoes for over 2 weeks now, and I haven't used them once. *sigh* yet another thing I've failed at.

But tomorrow is yet another day.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

fail...

Okay... so I've already screwed up June.

But I'm going to try and keep writing.

This isn't for anyone. I doubt anyone is even reading it. I don't care tho. This is for me. I have to get back into writing a journal. I haven't done it in so long, and I kinda miss it.

The weekend is here. It will go fast. It always does.

Thursday...

The week is nearly over again. Time just seems to fly by when you don't do anything.

Sometimes I think about going out and volunteering. But then I think about the people, and leaving the house, and... I think that I'm becoming a hermit. Hm... what's the female version of a hermit.

When I think about going out with people around, I get a little scared. It's all in my head.

tired...

Today I'm tired.

I go thru days where I'm feeling great, just fine, and then days where I wake up and I just don't want to be awake, i just want to sleep, spend the day in bed.

today is one of those days. I did get out of bed. I moved to the couch and watched soaps. I haven't changed from my jammies tho.

June 01

It has been a long time. I don't even know where the time has gone. I can't believe that it is already June. WOW... I can't believe that the year is nearly half over.

I'm going to attempt NaBloPoMo this month. We shall see how well I do this month. The theme is NOW. I may or may not even attempt to write on this theme.

June is also National Scleroderma Awareness Month. Check out the links and such on the top of the right column.

We shall see what comes this month.