it's been a while..

I have no idea where the time went. I swear yesterday it was just July...

I'm going to try and get back into the swing of things here. Everything just kinda went wacko there on me for a while.

Hope all you are well,

we helped some...

hello there....

Not sure what to write about today, but I didn't want to just not post anything. Especially when I'm trying to write every day.

Woke up with a headache this morning, and I still have it. can't decide if it is sinus or what. I do hear the blood rushing thru my ears. i hate that. Mom said she hears that all the time. I don't know if I would ever get used to that sound.

I have 10 days left until I head to Oregon. I'm so excited for this trip. It's finally time for our Family Reunion, but I'm also going early to spend some time with Grandma.

okay. Time to eat my slim jim and drink my slice.

sleep...

So I've decided that if I want to wake up earlier, I have to go to bed earlier.

I usually go to my room about 10.00 and spend a few hours reading before I turn the light out around 12.00. Now with my television being over for the summer I can head to my room about 9.00, spend a few hours reading and get my meds running thru me and turning the light out at 11.00.

I did this last night. Had a little trouble falling asleep. Don't know what the time was, but I remember counting to 400. That's what I've been doing lately when my brain is still working when I turn the light out.

Now we'll see if I can actually get out of bed at a decent time now.

lightbulb...

So I realised last night, while trying to sleep and counting to 750 then giving up, why I am feeling so down on myself, and why I ache so bad, and why I'm so tired, and why I just want to cry at the drop of a hat. And this might be a little TMI for some of you, but...

I should be starting my cycle tomorrow. I'm just PMSing.

Wow... that was a revelation to me. I haven't had actual PMS symptoms that I've noticed this bad in quite a while.

Now we shall see if I actually start.

What I really need to do is get an appointment at Dr. McKernan's office to get the oblation taken care of. Maybe if I did that I'd feel better. But being the usual procrastinator that I am I keep putting it off. Now it will just have to wait until after the Family Reunion.

the beginning of another week...

The weekend is over. Here we are at the beginning of another week.

I went to bed "early" last night. Kinda drugged myself to do it, but I did go to bed earlier than I usually do. and I had set my alarm to get up "early".

It didn't work. When my alarm went off at 8.30 I pressed the snooze button. I wasn't getting out of bed. Yes, by this time I'd already slept 9 hours. but I still wasn't moving. I even made the dog go back to sleep. Didn't wake up until 10.30.

Today I just ache and I'm tired. Is there a storm coming thru?

I want to start walking on the treadmill again (already too hot at 8 am to do it outside). I even bought new tennis shoes to do so. I've had those "new" shoes for over 2 weeks now, and I haven't used them once. *sigh* yet another thing I've failed at.

But tomorrow is yet another day.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

fail...

Okay... so I've already screwed up June.

But I'm going to try and keep writing.

This isn't for anyone. I doubt anyone is even reading it. I don't care tho. This is for me. I have to get back into writing a journal. I haven't done it in so long, and I kinda miss it.

The weekend is here. It will go fast. It always does.

Thursday...

The week is nearly over again. Time just seems to fly by when you don't do anything.

Sometimes I think about going out and volunteering. But then I think about the people, and leaving the house, and... I think that I'm becoming a hermit. Hm... what's the female version of a hermit.

When I think about going out with people around, I get a little scared. It's all in my head.

tired...

Today I'm tired.

I go thru days where I'm feeling great, just fine, and then days where I wake up and I just don't want to be awake, i just want to sleep, spend the day in bed.

today is one of those days. I did get out of bed. I moved to the couch and watched soaps. I haven't changed from my jammies tho.

June 01

It has been a long time. I don't even know where the time has gone. I can't believe that it is already June. WOW... I can't believe that the year is nearly half over.

I'm going to attempt NaBloPoMo this month. We shall see how well I do this month. The theme is NOW. I may or may not even attempt to write on this theme.

June is also National Scleroderma Awareness Month. Check out the links and such on the top of the right column.

We shall see what comes this month.

My Big Adventure... Day One and Two

Hello all! I know, it has been a very long time since I've posted anything here. And I can't give an excuse as to why. Just lazy I guess, thinking I have nothing to say.

Well right now I'm on a big adventure. I'm in Antrim, Northern Ireland. Not far from Belfast for those of you who don't know your geography (I didn't at first either. Had to look it up to figure out where it was.)

I'll be spending most of the month of February here. I arrived yesterday, the 31st of January and I return home on the 27th of February.

I started out my journey Saturday, January 30th, at 4.15 in the morning. Yes. I said morning. IT was early, way early. but I needed to be to the airport 2 hours early, and my flight was an early flight, and it takes nearly an hour to get to the airport. Lils wasn't happy about getting out of bed this early. And neither was mom for that matter. She was the one to drive me to the airport.

My first flight (I say first cause I had 4) was to Houston. I then spent 2 hours there being sick after the plane ride, and got onto my second flight, to Orlando.

NEVER! and I mean NEVER! get on a flight to Orlando unless you want to be surrounded by children. I swear half the plane was filled with children all in different moods varying from the extra excited about going to Disney World, to the kicking and screaming for some reason or another.

The next flight was from Orlando to Newark. The flight to Newark was delayed by nearly an hour. Making for anxious reactions from me. It was a good thing that my next layover was nearly 2 hours, so by the time I got there it was only an hours wait.

I was a good girl and had requested wheelchair assistance if my gate locations were far apart. The only one that I needed it for was in Newark. I swear i landed on one side of the airport and the gate i was leaving from was on the other side. Okay, so i landed at gate 134, and leaving from gate 73, so It wasn't all the way across, only just half way.

The flight to Belfast was leaving Newark at 9.30. So I took a lovely sleeping pill before we even started boarding the plane. By the time we boarded, and I was comfy cozy with my blanket and pillow provided by the airline, and no one next to me (no one in the middle seat I should say) and took off. I was asleep. I don't remember taking off at all, I do remember waking up about an hour into the flight and thinking it is taking forever for takeoff, and looking out the window and finding out we were in the sky. It made for a lovely trip.

I slept for 5 hours of the flight, and woke up just in enough time to have a lovely roll and some fruit and juice for a small breakfast. I had obviously missed dinner being served due to sleeping.

We landed in Belfast at 8:50 am local time. I made it thru customs nice and fine. I was amazed that they let me into the country. seriously it was one of my fears, that i would get here and they would say no, you cant come in, turn around and go home. But nope, I got a stamp in my passport! WOOHOOO!

Our luggage was late because of unloading some cargo first, so It was nearly 45 minutes before I saw Kerry (my girlfriend I was coming to visit) and Kyle (her nearly 2 godson). He was so adorable. He was so excited to see me. Him and I have been visiting on Skype for quite a while now (with the help of kerry) so he thought it was pretty cool that I was there and not just on the computer.

That is basically it for day one and two. and nothing much more happened the rest of the day. I met Laura, kyle's mother, and Kerry's mother Linda and Grandmother Mary. I ate some real breakfast, then took a 3 hour nap.

after that we watched television and talked for a while, ate dinner (a yummy english beef roast feast with yorkshire puddings that I'm in love with) said goodbye to Laura and Kyle, and then headed to bed. I was counting down the hours until it was time I could actually go to sleep, and it was near.